Top 5 Greatest Movie Franchises

There's no escaping a a movie sequel/reboot these days. Every time you turn on the TV there's a new preview about the next Saw sequel, or the lasted "(Fill in the Blank) Movie." Every Super Hero movie seems to come in 3s and, There are some that don't have any logical reason to exists; Cat's and Dog's, Baby Geniuses, Garfield. But every once in a while an amazing movie gets released, then quite astonishingly a sequel is made and not only is it just as good, but sometimes it's even better then the original. They are few and far between, but it happens. So here's a list of my favorite movie franchises. (I'm sorry, but Step Up did not make the list)

5. Harry Potter
It was inevitable that J. K. Rowling's massively successful book series would be made in to films eventually, but who could have guessed that they would be good, and not just a few of them, but all of them. The Harry Potter films have become a pop cultures phenomenon in their own right raking in billions of dollars world wide, and receiving rave reviews from critics with each new installment. With a top notch A-list cast, state of the art special effects, and brilliant production design, it's no wonder that these movies are such a success. Let's hope that with the final two films yet to be released, this series completes it's run of success as strongly as it began.




4. Star Wars (The Originals)
Back before I was in existence a small movie was released that pretty much changed the entire face of film and entertainment forever. That of course was Star Wars, a Titan of the movie world which still remains in the forefront of pop culture now forty years laters. There isn't much I can say about Star Wars that hasn't already been said about the originals. It's power is pretty much undeniable, yet their is that unfortunate mark on it's otherwise pristine face. I guess Lucas had more to say, to bad he couldn't hold it in. With the slight exception of Revenge of the Sith, The newest "official" Star Wars films came no where near the greatness that was the original three. Oh well, at least they weren't as bad as the Cystal Skulls, actualy, Attack of the Clones was pretty bad.

3. Toy Story
There are certain things in life that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There are certain movies I can watch over and over again and be entertained every single time. The Toy Story franchise, from the movie gods at Pixar does just that, and so much more. With the third one just released, Toy Story has become a perfect trifecta of humor, heart, and endless nostalgia for kids and grownups a like. The first installment was a landmark in film. The first fully computer animated feature. Then with the second film Pixar upped the anti with even better visuals, and a better yet still simple, yet beautiful told story about Friendship, loss, and redemption. With the third movie, Pixar not only gained it's biggest finacial success, but ended the series on such a note that it is rumored to have made grown men cry. I unfortunately, am the only person in the world who hasn't seen it yet, but based on the reaction of pretty much everyone I know, Toy Story 3 did this already amazing series proud, an accomplishment that only a handful of movies can claim. Including the next trilogy on the list.

2. Lord of the Rings
When lord of the Rings first came out, I had not yet read the books. I was not aware of the massive following it had already amassed in the forty something years since it's original publication. I was not aware of the enormous undertaking that was happening with the making of these films. I remember a buzz began around the world after the first trailer was released a year before the first film. Then it grew and grew, until everyone around was going on and on about it, even be before it came out. I saw Fellowship on it's opening weekend, and it was a movie experience I will never forget. It change all my perceptions of what a movie could be. The scope, the vision, the sheer scale and grandeur of Fellowship was unlike anything I'd seen. It was my generations Star Wars. With the Second and Third film, Peter Jackson continued to up his game, and by the end of the third film, He had created film history. It has become the benchmark for all film trilogies since to live up to, and quite frankly I'm not sure it will ever be met. I'm afraid for the Hobbit. I hope it will finally be made, but I'm afraid it will not measure up to it's predecessors. We shall see.

1. The Godfather
This may be slightly controversial because as it has been said a million times that The Godfather part 3 is a big dud. By comparison to the other two I kinda, sorta agree, but as someone whose seen all three film many many times, each one, including the third film stand up on its own, aside from a few bad casting decisions. This is due to one person. Michael Corleone, one of the greatest characters ever to be written for the screen. His story from beginning to end is an engrossing, compelling, tragic saga about a once decent man forced into a world of greed and violence, and is surrounded by deceit and betrayed by people he loved and trusted. Throughout Michael forced to make decisions that haunt him and his family for the rest of their lives, and ones with shattering, unavoidable consequences, leading to a self-imposed exile. Without the third movie, I don't feel there would have been closure to his story. Regardless of how people feel about the the third one, the strength of the two other films make this franchise a landmark in film, the first film often cited as the greatest movie of all time. The Godfather will probably make a few lists, and it easily get's the number one spot on this one.

Top 10 Most Cheestastic Cartoon Heroes

10. Darkwing Duck
A hilarious batman spoof and spin off of the the classic weekday afternoon cartoon Ducktales, Darkwing Duck has everything a cheesetastic cartoon hero should have. Awesome yet often pointless gadgets. Check. Arsenal of cheestastic catch phrases. Check. Goofy side kicks. Check. Mind-blowingly catchy theme song. Double check. A boatload of equally cheesy super villains to fight. Big Check. Yes he's got it all, but of course that was the point. It was supposed to be cheesy, which is why he got the tenth spot. Trying to be cheesy is no substitute for just being. Now let's get really dangerous

9. Ninja Turtles
All I can say is wow. What a concept. Just break down the title. Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles. Everything about that screams WTF? Yet it totally works and it's totally awesome. I have to admit that even as a kid when I heard about this for the first time, I was a bit less then sold on the idea, but I was soon swept up in the phenomenon that was the ninja turtles. They skate board, eat pizza, play video games, and they kick ass. Seriously what's not to love. And who could possibly forget Krang. A talking brain inside the stomach of a giant robot man. Twenty years later, they're still going strong with new episodes and movies still coming out. Did I mention that they are ninjas? Enough said.

8. Jackie Chan
In my opinion, there are only a few things more cheesy then an action movie star turning himself into a action cartoon star. Although a questionable concept, Jackie Chan Adventures turned out to be an action-packed, often funny hit series. Playing himself as a bumbling archaeologist, Jackie Chan took his reluctant hero shtick he's so famous for in his live action movies, and transferred it into the show. The result is a slight hearkening back to his old classics like Rumble in the Bronx and Drunken Master mixed with Indiana Jones like adventures. Cheesy yes, fun absolutely, and a more then worthy addition to this bunch.

7. She-Ra
The only female to make the list, She-Ra easily earns a spot for simply being the shamelessly rip-offed female version of the legendarily cheestastic (and questionable) He-man. The excuse was, according to the suspiciously similar opening, was that She-Ra is He-Man's twin sister. A likely story yes, but who gives a crap. As a kid I couldn't get enough of He-Man, and She-Ra was pretty much the same exact show, only with a girl, and slightly less...questionable. Go figure.



6. Captain Caveman
CAPTAIN CAAAAVVVVEEEE MAAAANN! I really cannot tell you how much I loved this guy when I was a kid. The star of a show that was a hybrid of Scooby Doo, the Flintstones, and Josey and the Pussycats, and with the title Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, "The World's First Super Hero" was virtually preordained to be a part of this list. How could a club-swinging, ass-kicking, fur ball not make the list is the question. Ask any child of the 70s and 80s about old Cavey Wavey and I'm sure they would whole heartily agree, Captain Caveman rocks, and is a more then a worthy entry ot the cheesy hall of fame. Sigh...they just don't make them like they used to.

5. Lion-O
Next to GI Joe and Transformers, Thundercats is arguably the most remembered and beloved cartoon of the 80s. Speak it's name in a crowded room of geeks and their won't be a dry pair of pants in the house. Ok that's gross, but it's true. Lion O was the king of this grail of 80's retro holiness, and possibly one of the creepiest character designs ever conceived. I mean look at him. A half human, half lion in a skin tight unitard. It's all types of wrong. Despite this, Lion O manages to be pretty bad ass, and wields a gigantic magic swords to boot. I'm just waiting for the live action movie version to come out. The part of Lion O:

Jessica Simpson of course.












4. Birdman
When it comes to Cheestastic Heroes, nothing can beat a really good, overly-dramatic catchphrase, and I challenge anyone who can find one that tops the operatic roar of Birdman. The greatest thing about it is how unintentionally hilarious it is, but in the most awesome way possible. Add to this terribly drawn animation, obscenely corny villains, and a useless pet hawk as a side kick, and you've got cheestastic gold. Thankfully I was not the only person to think this. Thanks to the geniuses at Adult Swim, we were given the wonderfully kooky Harvey Birdman Attourney at Law, and they used the original shows supposed weaknesses to create comedy gold.

3. Hammerman
MC Hammer, a super hero? Are you crazy? That must have been some TV executive's reply when this concept was proposed. But if you think about it, it makes perfect since. MC Hammer really is a super hero. Those big x-ray glasses. His out of this world dance moves. Those AMAZING golden parachute pants. All he has to do now is strap on those magical dance shoes and BAM! No villain stands a chance. He'll typewrite all over their sorry asses. How is he not a super hero. Ok, ok, so no one actually likes this show, at least no one I know, but I'm sure hammerman will remain in the minds of anyone old enough to have watched it at least once, or at least saw the previews for it (There was no way I was going to subject myself to that @#$%).

2. He-man
As far as 80's icon's go, there are few that can top He-man, and that's saying a lot, as he comes from one of the cheesiest decades in human history. To me, He-Man set the standard for all 80's cartoon heroes in every way. Yes, even the after school special message at the end of each episode was there. GI Joe came out a year after He-Man, and therefore copied him. And yes, there was something uquestionably homoerotic about He-man and his gang of trusty sidekicks, but what 80's cartoon wasn't. Have you seen the smurfs...I rest my case. So He-man, I salute you for being a pioneer of the cheesy superheroes. Now please put on some pants.

1. Captain Planet
With your powers combined, I am captain planet! Oh yeah, Earths greatest ecological super hero earns the the top spot as the cheesiest cartoon hero around, and you know why. The Mullet. The shiny, crome green mullet. But that's not all. He's got a bevy of young sidekicks, a virtual rainbow coalition of perky tweens called the planeteers with magical eco rings they have no idea how to use. (I mean c'mon. You're rings can cause earth shattering natural disasters for christ sake. Ma-Ti is the only one with an excuse.) And then there's his extremely catchy theme song featuring the most craptastic rap ever written. Performed, of course, by the planateers. The sad part is I know every single word...oh well. I admit it, I watched this show pretty regularly, and loved every minute of it. In hindsight I think my favorite part was all the eco themed jokes and insults the captain threw at the villains. And the mullet of course. I can't wait to see the live action CGI version of that.

Top 5 Annoying Pop Acts

Top singer/groups who may arguably have talent (ARGUABLY), but still manage to be the scourge of radio everywhere.

5. Usher
I don't necessarily have anything against Usher. To tell you the truth, I actually like Usher. I think he is very talented in fact. But, I feel that there should be a rule that says an artist can only have a minimum of 3 songs released at one time, and can only be played 5 times every 12 hours. Seriously, if I hear OMG one more time on the radio I may just end up being the cause a major car accident, and I live in LA so it will be massive. What's more annoying is that all of his songs sort of run together. It's like an endless drone of golden synths and phat, booty bumping beats. (The kids still say phat right?) A friend of mine told me that the best way to deal with OMG is to pump it up before going to church. I can hear the choir now. OH OH OH OH OH OH OH MY GOD.


4. Justin Bieber
This one is pretty obvious, and I'm sure Beaver would be on the top of many people's annoying list. I actually don't have anything personally against the kid. He's just another harmless mega fad that will be gone within the next year or so. My question is, why? Why is he a mega fad? Why is the Beaver all of a sudden the biggest tween sensation since, I don't know freakin' Menudo, another confounding pop sensation that suddenly surfaced like a giant black head singing high pitched ballads to the under 12 masses. I honestly have no idea, but my theory is that it's either aliens, or the illuminati like Lady Gaga. I did, however, hear that Youtube had something to do with it, as did Usher. Wait...I figured it out. Terrorists, definitely terrorists.



3. T-Pain
Ah T-Pain. The Ambassador Of Auto-tune. The Sultan of Synths. What can I say about T-Pain? His act is 5 percent human, 95 percent electrical music enhancements. I know that's the point of the style, but what the heck ever happened to genuine musical talent and vocal ability. If I knew that all I had to do was talk (Not rap, Rap is awesome) into a mic and turn a few nobs to become a Grammy winning, multi-platinum, international music super star then...I would have done it. Oh well, maybe that's why I'm not a Grammy winning, multi-platinum, international music super star. I guess I'm just not creative enough. How utterly ironic.



2. Kesha
The only reason why Kesha did not get the number one slot on this list is because she hasn't been around long enough to have left a permanent scar on the face of pop culture (knock on wood). She's more like a hemorrhoid right on the ass of pop music that with after a little bit of time and ointment, will eventually go away. I know that sounds terrible, and I'm not saying that Kesha herself is anything like a painful ass boil. I'm sure she's a lovely girl. But If her music were any more stuffed with bubblegum beats and drug references it would be called blow pop. Get it, blow pop? Haha. Don't hate, that was hilarious. Seriously though, her music blows, and the fact that I could stretch that pun as far as I did proves my point completely.

1. Inrique Iglesias
This number one may be strange and surprising to some people. I mean really? What's wrong with Enrique Iglesias. I mean sure his songs are mind-meldingly catchy and sung the world over. And yes, the man gives smoldering a whole new meaning, and damn it I'm comfortable saying that. But does his shirt ALWAYS have to be unbuttoned? Does he ALWAYS have to sing like his heart has been shattered into a million pieces or he'll explode if a women does not join him naked in front of his fire place, no doubt on a bear skin rug? Would he please stop staring at me with those crazy, desperate to bang eyes. There's gratuitous, then there is Enrique Iglesias, and he's been doing this for years. I wish he'd just move on. Maybe Anna Kournikova just ain't giving him what he needs. You can only expect so much from a genetically altered tennis robot/fashion model.