A hilarious batman spoof and spin off of the the classic weekday afternoon cartoon Ducktales, Darkwing Duck has everything a cheesetastic cartoon hero should have. Awesome yet often pointless gadgets. Check. Arsenal of cheestastic catch phrases. Check. Goofy side kicks. Check. Mind-blowingly catchy theme song. Double check. A boatload of equally cheesy super villains to fight. Big Check. Yes he's got it all, but of course that was the point. It was supposed to be cheesy, which is why he got the tenth spot. Trying to be cheesy is no substitute for just being. Now let's get really dangerous
9. Ninja Turtles
All I can say is wow. What a concept. Just break down the title. Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles. Everything about that screams WTF? Yet it totally works and it's totally awesome. I have to admit that even as a kid when I heard about this for the first time, I was a bit less then sold on the idea, but I was soon swept up in the phenomenon that was the ninja turtles. They skate board, eat pizza, play video games, and they kick ass. Seriously what's not to love. And who could possibly forget Krang. A talking brain inside the stomach of a giant robot man. Twenty years later, they're still going strong with new episodes and movies still coming out. Did I mention that they are ninjas? Enough said.
8. Jackie Chan
In my opinion, there are only a few things more cheesy then an action movie star turning himself into a action cartoon star. Although a questionable concept, Jackie Chan Adventures turned out to be an action-packed, often funny hit series. Playing himself as a bumbling archaeologist, Jackie Chan took his reluctant hero shtick he's so famous for in his live action movies, and transferred it into the show. The result is a slight hearkening back to his old classics like Rumble in the Bronx and Drunken Master mixed with Indiana Jones like adventures. Cheesy yes, fun absolutely, and a more then worthy addition to this bunch.
7. She-Ra
The only female to make the list, She-Ra easily earns a spot for simply being the shamelessly rip-offed female version of the legendarily cheestastic (and questionable) He-man. The excuse was, according to the suspiciously similar opening, was that She-Ra is He-Man's twin sister. A likely story yes, but who gives a crap. As a kid I couldn't get enough of He-Man, and She-Ra was pretty much the same exact show, only with a girl, and slightly less...questionable. Go figure.
6. Captain Caveman
CAPTAIN CAAAAVVVVEEEE MAAAANN! I really cannot tell you how much I loved this guy when I was a kid. The star of a show that was a hybrid of Scooby Doo, the Flintstones, and Josey and the Pussycats, and with the title Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels, "The World's First Super Hero" was virtually preordained to be a part of this list. How could a club-swinging, ass-kicking, fur ball not make the list is the question. Ask any child of the 70s and 80s about old Cavey Wavey and I'm sure they would whole heartily agree, Captain Caveman rocks, and is a more then a worthy entry ot the cheesy hall of fame. Sigh...they just don't make them like they used to.
5. Lion-O
Next to GI Joe and Transformers, Thundercats is arguably the most remembered and beloved cartoon of the 80s. Speak it's name in a crowded room of geeks and their won't be a dry pair of pants in the house. Ok that's gross, but it's true. Lion O was the king of this grail of 80's retro holiness, and possibly one of the creepiest character designs ever conceived. I mean look at him. A half human, half lion in a skin tight unitard. It's all types of wrong. Despite this, Lion O manages to be pretty bad ass, and wields a gigantic magic swords to boot. I'm just waiting for the live action movie version to come out. The part of Lion O:
Jessica Simpson of course.4. Birdman
When it comes to Cheestastic Heroes, nothing can beat a really good, overly-dramatic catchphrase, and I challenge anyone who can find one that tops the operatic roar of Birdman. The greatest thing about it is how unintentionally hilarious it is, but in the most awesome way possible. Add to this terribly drawn animation, obscenely corny villains, and a useless pet hawk as a side kick, and you've got cheestastic gold. Thankfully I was not the only person to think this. Thanks to the geniuses at Adult Swim, we were given the wonderfully kooky Harvey Birdman Attourney at Law, and they used the original shows supposed weaknesses to create comedy gold.
3. Hammerman
MC Hammer, a super hero? Are you crazy? That must have been some TV executive's reply when this concept was proposed. But if you think about it, it makes perfect since. MC Hammer really is a super hero. Those big x-ray glasses. His out of this world dance moves. Those AMAZING golden parachute pants. All he has to do now is strap on those magical dance shoes and BAM! No villain stands a chance. He'll typewrite all over their sorry asses. How is he not a super hero. Ok, ok, so no one actually likes this show, at least no one I know, but I'm sure hammerman will remain in the minds of anyone old enough to have watched it at least once, or at least saw the previews for it (There was no way I was going to subject myself to that @#$%).
2. He-man
As far as 80's icon's go, there are few that can top He-man, and that's saying a lot, as he comes from one of the cheesiest decades in human history. To me, He-Man set the standard for all 80's cartoon heroes in every way. Yes, even the after school special message at the end of each episode was there. GI Joe came out a year after He-Man, and therefore copied him. And yes, there was something uquestionably homoerotic about He-man and his gang of trusty sidekicks, but what 80's cartoon wasn't. Have you seen the smurfs...I rest my case. So He-man, I salute you for being a pioneer of the cheesy superheroes. Now please put on some pants.
1. Captain Planet
With your powers combined, I am captain planet! Oh yeah, Earths greatest ecological super hero earns the the top spot as the cheesiest cartoon hero around, and you know why. The Mullet. The shiny, crome green mullet. But that's not all. He's got a bevy of young sidekicks, a virtual rainbow coalition of perky tweens called the planeteers with magical eco rings they have no idea how to use. (I mean c'mon. You're rings can cause earth shattering natural disasters for christ sake. Ma-Ti is the only one with an excuse.) And then there's his extremely catchy theme song featuring the most craptastic rap ever written. Performed, of course, by the planateers. The sad part is I know every single word...oh well. I admit it, I watched this show pretty regularly, and loved every minute of it. In hindsight I think my favorite part was all the eco themed jokes and insults the captain threw at the villains. And the mullet of course. I can't wait to see the live action CGI version of that.
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